Historical appreciation post

Shout-out to the Supporters

Originally written by Coach Rai on July 15, 2018 and still one of the biggest sources of gratitude in my life!

When we’re lucky, the kindest support system walks into our lives at the precise moment we didn’t even know we need them most. That person or group of people that are just there no matter what time it is or where they are in the world — they’re your support system. They’re your biggest blessing.

The thing about trauma is it never really leaves you. No amount of time or therapy or alcohol or exercise really takes it away. Traumatic experiences shape your life. They become a part of who you are. The battle is not letting them be the defining characteristic.

Coming to terms with the fact you can’t cope with a traumatic experience all by yourself is one of the first challenges. For this, I recommend EMDR therapy. It’s worth the time and money and giving the idea of therapy a chance.

The next roadblock comes after you’ve had so much success with EMDR therapy and you think you’re better until you eat a particular food that triggers flashbacks and you have to remember the progress you’ve made instead of letting this setback break your heart.

From there you’ll start fishing for triggers to make yourself face them and you’ll really think you’re on the way to being “over it”. Then you’ll learn that’s not the case. You don’t get to get over trauma. And that’s okay.

PTSD is a mental illness. It’s debilitating at times and it’s always frustrating. However, similar to a broken arm, you CAN heal from PTSD.

If you’re reading this and you’re lucky enough to find the past few paragraphs irrelevant: Be grateful and pay close attention to the next few paragraphs.

You are capable of being someone’s support system. It’s simple to do and totally worth it for the insane impact it makes on the supported.

Step one: Validate the feelings of whomever is struggling with PTSD or any other mental illness. Just because you can’t understand, does not mean it does not exist.

Step two: Never say “well, just be happy”. Mental illnesses, particularly PTSD, deplete or completely rob a person of their serotonin levels making it impossible or incredibly difficult to feel happiness.

Step three: Encourage your hurting loved one to seek help. If someone runs to you with a broken arm, you immediately suggest the hospital. If someone runs to you (or carefully opens up to you) with any mental illness, immediately offer your support and suggest therapy.

Step four: Stick with them. Remind them of the progress they’ve made when they lose sight of that. Encourage them to remain persistent in fighting for the control of their mental state back. Show your support by being proud of their progress and efforts.

Step five: Recognize how SPECTACULAR you are! If you are someone’s support system (and especially if you are mine), know you are appreciated beyond words or measure.

I’ve been privileged to have spent most of my journey through recovering from guilt and absolute terror with the best support system a person could dream of. I will spend the rest of my life trying to find the words to express the immense gratitude I have for the supporter who taught me what the above steps to being a life-changing support system truly are.

Good luck on your journey to healing.

Good luck on your journey to being a rockstar supporter.

Good luck on your journey wherever you are and whatever you’re headed for.

You’re loved. You’re strong. You’re capable. You’re deserving of joy and recovery. You’re on your way. ❤